You are almost 8 months right now as I write this letter to you. Within these past months I have never felt so alive. You have filled my life with so much passion and have taught me to “remain calm and just enjoy life”. Your gentle touch reminds me to cherish moments, rather than always living in the fast lane.
The day that I became a mom started on May 14th, 2015, the day I found out I was pregnant with you! I didn’t feel pregnant and it was crazy for me to know that I was a mom. On that day though, I did know I had made a commitment to always cherish, protect, teach, love, and encourage you. From that day on I have made it my daily goal to fulfill your life with natural happiness.
I have to be honest with you though, the day that I held you in my arms I had so many thoughts of terror running through my head. I didn’t know how I was going to keep you alive.I know that seems a little extreme, but it was scary for me to know that you relied on your daddy and I to thrive in life. It was something I could never prepare for. (You’ll someday understand that you’re mama likes to have things prepared and planned.) I just couldn’t plan everything out and prepare for all that was to come. It honestly terrified me. All I wanted was for you to be healthy, happy, and feel loved. In the hospital I was very focused on getting you to feed and asking SO MANY questions to the nurses (by the way, thank you to all the nurses for being so patient). Each time though that I looked down at your precious rosey, chubby, face I knew I just needed to focus on just being with you.
When you came home from the hospital I was still stressed on making sure everything was perfect for you, and that I knew absolutely everything there was about how to care for a newborn. You would be amazed at the amount of time I spent reading books, and google searching on “How To’s For Newborns”. I did this because I was scared and I had so much love for you I didn’t want to mess anything up. You want to know a secret though… All I had to do was just be with you, hold you, love you, and learn about YOU. So I started doing just that…
It wasn’t until about you were 4 months old that I truly closed many of the books and slowed down my days of google searching. I listened to my motherly instincts and excepted the fact that not everything was going to be perfect. You know what else I learned to understand? perfection didn’t matter anymore, your happiness did. I switched my focus to playing, laughing, cuddling, and exploring with you. The moment that you were born you have taught me to live in the moments, rather than always on the go and stressed about perfection.
“You’re my little buddy, and I love the adventures we have together.”
Your eyes are filled with so much curiosity, and they are just studyng all that life has to offer you. I love teaching you all about life’s gifts. I have never had so much enjoyment in my life until I started spending my days with you (and your daddy). We have so much fun together. Don’t get me wrong you have some challenging days, but I have to always remind myself we all do.
Life is not always going to be easy my sweet boy. You will go through many ups and downs. Just remember though that through it all you will always be”just moms type”. I will help to guide you, teach you, and I will always LOVE you. It may be tough love sometimes, but it will always be the purest love I have to offer.
I love you so much my baby boy. You (and your daddy) are the sunshine to my life!